My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
two words: eviction party
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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