I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
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He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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