Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize