I think scott just propositioned me for sex
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize