guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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