I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I want a musical about memes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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