You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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