I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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