So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize