i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize