I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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