you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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