i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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