the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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