he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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