He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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