i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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