my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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