I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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