I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize