There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize