I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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