..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
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Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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