were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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