Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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