That's intense
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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