Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish you could order shots online.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize