He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
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