he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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