This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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