I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize