This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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