Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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