I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize