why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize