Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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