his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize