Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
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Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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