Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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