atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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