I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
A+ Viking dick
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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