youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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