I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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