I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize