You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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