i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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