Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize