He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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