My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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