No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize